They say it “takes a village” and we bet you’ve heard this phrase everywhere: in work settings, community spaces, and especially regarding raising children which is where the saying has its roots. While the phrase became popular in American culture several decades back, it is derived from an African proverb emphasizing the importance of surrounding children with a positive community of people to facilitate a thriving, healthy, and nurturing environment. The adage has informed ideology, social norms, and even research.
Your Village Journey draws inspiration from this concept but believes that it’s not just our kids who need the village. Most people, even the most introverted among us, thrive when they have a secure support system in place. But it can be a challenge to keep those support networks intact and consistent. YVJ was also founded as response to the questions we heard over and over: Where is the village? Once I find it, how do I activate it? And then, how do I keep it?
If you have asked yourself these questions, you are not alone. We think it takes immense courage to find and activate a village of support and here’s why – we are constantly swimming upstream against busy schedules, unending to-do lists, limited resources, lack of time, physically living far away from family or close friends, and of course the intense pull to look down to our phones instead of into the eyes of the person next to us. If that feels like a lot to compete with, it’s because it is.
But, the good news is that the village does exist. Most of our communities these days are likely to be a hybrid of in person and virtual spaces. Your specific village will be unique to you, and here are some ideas to get started:
1. Define
Your village is defined by its members and each village defines itself. Take some time to assess how your village looks right now and how you might want this to change. Our support systems are most protective for our mental health when they offer these three kinds of support: emotional and information support (someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on), positive social interaction (having fun or doing something enjoyable with others) and tangible support (borrowing a car, a friend bringing dinner when you are sick). Consider the extent to which your village offers these different types of supports: How much of your time or energy is spent in person, in community, alone, in a virtual space? Does this fuel you and support you in the ways you need?
Be intentional about your definition of village and be open to the fact that your life is actively being lived. It’s not stagnant. So, your village can’t be either. Be open to the idea that components of your village will shift or change as you move along your own journey. Welcome your village to move and grow with you.
2. Get curious
Check out your surroundings online and in person! Strike up a conversation with a neighbor, see what is offered at the local library, or do a search online for something that is of interest to you. Bring this back to your village definition. Make sure that what you’ve found fills a gap or brings value to your village.
3. Activate
Take one small action that lines up with your definition of village. YVJ itself was born from this activation step when we realized the need for this community space. Villages are typically built on the foundation of relationships and relationships thrive when they are reciprocal so perhaps you carpool (tangible support) on the way to the weekly sport practice or musical jam session (positive social interaction). YVJ is excited to be exploring this concept with you and look forward to expanding and developing this village community as we grow. We will share our activation steps along the way to inspire you on your own personal journey.
4. Consistency
As you start to take action and infuse your village with your journey, be as consistent as you can. Our villages flourish when we consistently show up for ourselves and the others we include.
Bottom line: Wherever you are in your journey is OK. Your village will grow and change along the way and you have the power to re-define and activate it with small, consistent steps to keep it flourishing.
Speaking of journeys, we are so glad our paths crossed today. Welcome to YVJ – you and your journey are so welcome here.
Joy in the Journey,
Jenn & Jess
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Meet Drs. Jessica Lawson & Jennifer Doran
Jess and Jenn are clinical psychologists, working parents, colleagues and friends. We believe in the the power of psychology and in having a connected and supportive community – a village. Our Blog posts and videos are designed to be short in nature – something you can tune into for 5 minutes a day or less.
