Yes, you read that right. Not only do I occasionally let my kids “play hooky” for the day; I encourage it! We live in a workaholic culture of constant demand and never-ending stimulation. Learning how and when to take a day off is as much a core life skill as anything.
Just like us, our children sometimes need a well-deserved day off. No, I don’t mean staying home and resting when they are sick. I mean a day off just because they are tired or it feels good – no justification, illness, or guilt necessary.
These days of are sometimes referred to as “mental health days” and have known benefits to our health and overall well-being. In addition to helping us disconnect from sources of stress or discontent (think work, demands, screens), they help us reconnect with ourselves and our values (think self-care, relaxation, fun).
While it is okay to engage in some mindless activities on days such as these (a movie marathon every once in awhile is a great way to unwind), they also offer an opportunity to spend time engaged in activities that bring joy or promote wellness (e.g. reading, taking a walk, playing outside, going somewhere fun, spending one-on-one time with a parent or sibling).
Our kids are so much busier than we ever were. The school schedule and academic requirements are more demanding, the out-of-school events more frequent, and the extracurricular activities seemingly endless. Over-scheduling our kids has become the new norm, with increased pressure on all fronts and competition occurring at earlier and earlier ages.
Childhood used be symbolized by a carefree attitude; by play. Modern childhood seems to be defined by more and more activity and achievement pressure – we want our kids to do more, be better, learn earlier, and achieve at a higher level.
These increased demands are one contributing factor to the dramatic rise in childhood depression and anxiety we have seen over the past decade. Children are busy and feeling more stress and pressure than is developmentally appropriate. Their enhanced activity level also results in missing out on core developmental needs such as play-based learning and boredom (yes – boredom is good for you!), which promotes creativity, planning and problem solving skills, and fosters independence and growth.
So let your kids take a day off once in awhile (remember that too much of anything is never ideal). Hooky days are great after an especially grueling time period or a few weeks with a higher than normal activity level. When your kids tell you they are exhausted, believe them. Kids who learn to listen to their bodies and minds now will grow up to understand the value of self-care and be able to take a day off of work when they need one. Helping your children discover how and when to strategically use time off is a life skill they will carry with them forever into their adult lives.
Pro Tip: several states have enacted legislation allowing mental health days in schools that are treated as excused absences (did you know in Connecticut you are legally entitled to 2 non-consecutive mental health days per school year?)
I hope your kids learn to enjoy the occasional hooky day. And if it wasn’t already obvious, they are equally good for grown ups, too!
Joy in the Journey,
J&J
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Meet Drs. Jessica Lawson & Jennifer Doran
Jess and Jenn are clinical psychologists, working parents, colleagues and friends. We believe in the the power of psychology and in having a connected and supportive community – a village. Our Blog posts and videos are designed to be short in nature – something you can tune into for 5 minutes a day or less.
