Our Curated Coping Strategies: Dr. Jenn

Get to know the doctors of Your Village Journey! This post will feature Dr. Jenn’s curated coping strategies.

As clinical psychologists, our lives are also busy and stressful at times. We know how important it is to have a number of readily available tools in our Coping Toolbox! 

Here are some of my current coping tools and techniques that help me stay centered, grounded, and positive.

Walk it Out

• Sometimes a change of scenery and some fresh air can be really helpful. Stepping away from what is going on, if you are able, and taking a walk can help to destress and refresh your day and mindset. Even a 10 or 15-minute walk can be helpful! 
• Exercise is known to boost mood and has positive effects on our mental health, including an ability to naturally reduce some symptoms of anxiety and depression (Exercise boosts Brain Health; Exercise & Depression). Even more than walking, sometimes a vigorous exercise break can help “get out” whatever you are feeling and come back to the day in a more positive way. I am admittedly something of a Peloton fanatic and rely on my bike for this most of the time – whether it is a relaxing reset ride, a fun music ride to make me smile, or the occasional “rage cycle” – I always feel better once I finish a spin class!

Talk it Out

• As psychologists, we know that putting words to feelings is one of the most helpful things we can do. Getting whatever is going on out of our body and into words (whether that be talking to a trusted family member or friend or taking time to write out what we are feeling) is curative and helps us both tune into the complicated emotions we may have and also begin the process of working through them. I always gain a deeper sense of clarity or acceptance of my feelings when I am able to talk or write about them.
• Spending time 1:1 with a friend can be helpful and offer a more protected space to share and support. This can be talking on the phone or over Zoom/Facetime, grabbing coffee together, meeting up for lunch or dinner, taking an exercise or other class together (paint-and-sip, anyone?), or even taking a walk together in a park. Talking it out has the added benefit of social connection and support, which we know is good for us!

Walk Away (Take a 5!)

• There are times when even the greatest coping skills in the world don’t feel helpful or can’t counter the rising anger or distress you might be feeling. When you are around a 7 out of 10 on a stress, anxiety, or anger scale, sometimes the most effective thing to do is to walk away. Taking a break from whatever – or whoever – is the source of distress gives you a chance to reset and use the skills you have in a less triggering environment to try to help you get back to your baseline.

• The “Take 5” approach is particularly helpful if significant others in your life know this is a tool you use. My kids know that when Mommy says “I need a 5 – I will be back in a few” to leave me be so that I can do what I need to do to come back to them in a better mindset. 

• A helpful tip for doing this when you are out in public is to take a bathroom break – whether you need to actually use the bathroom or not. Almost all public places have some form of bathroom available, and a bathroom is a private, quiet place where you can take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, or use whatever skills work for you to manage or reduce stress.

Play

• Having fun is a great way to reduce stress and boost your mood. Doing something enjoyable – whether as a family or on your own – is a wonderful way of adding positivity into day and warding off stress or upset.
• My kids and I love music and this a great mood shifter for our family. Kids running around the house with too much energy? I love to channel that into something constructive – like “family band” where we all play instruments together or a “living room dance party” where we each choose our favorite songs and bust out silly dance moves together. This can turn those “crazy” moments into something positive and fun, leaving you laughing instead of frustrated or yelling.

Treat Yourself

• I am a big fan of setting aside time to engage in activities that are good for me and help me feel good or decompress. There are things I love to do alone – like getting my nails done or having a quiet coffee on the beach; things I like to do as a family – going out for ice cream on a hot summer day, getting outside to play or throw a ball around; and things I like to do with others – go out for a nice dinner, have brunch with friends. A fancy coffee or yummy piece of chocolate can definitely offer a moment of enjoyment or peace.

Laugh/Love

• Laughter is a great source of positivity in our lives. Watching funny videos or a movie together, telling jokes, or talking about funny memories in your family can help us cope when things are difficult.
• Nothing beats the feeling of love that comes from sharing a hug or an exchange of heartfelt emotion (“I love you,” “I’m here for you,” “I’m sorry you had a bad day Mommy – can I help?”). Giving and receiving that support from the special someone’s in your life can make all the difference on those tougher days. I am definitely not shy about telling my kids “Mom had a tough day today” and asking for what I need, whether it is a lighthearted dinner or a simple hug.

What are your curated coping strategies? While they may be different than ours, perhaps this gives you some inspiration to think about what you need more of in your life to manage the stress and chaos of the daily grind. If there is one thing we can never have too much of, it is coping skills and options for counteracting negativity and increasing positive mood and experiences in our lives!

Joy in the Journey, 

J & J