The world is preparing to embark on everything that awaits us in 2025. And, because we are in it together, there is also great inspiration and accountability in a New Years resolution. “Fresh start, new year, new goals, new me”. Right? We’ve heard it before.
We’ve probably even said it to ourselves before. It may also be no surprise that these resolutions, though made with resolve and commitment, year after year by many of us, don’t seem too good at sticking. The reality is that up to 90% of our resolutions are abandoned shortly after the 1st of the calendar year. If you’ve struggled in years past to set and keep a resolution, you are most certainly not alone.
Our New Year arrives on the heels of the holiday season which may have been a time of letting usual routines slide, enjoying good food, spending more money, taking time off, and hopefully savoring the merry of it all. The turning of the year often sparks internal reflection. If we are embracing this reflection through the lens of the relative excess and glitter of the holiday season, and our memories of past “failed” resolutions, goals, or other disappointments, we can easily fall into the same traps that hindered our success in past years:
Our resolution is too big or too extreme. “I’m going to lose 30 pounds!” or “I’m going to be become fluent in Spanish!” or “I’m going to exercise every day!” Huge sweeping changes are glamorous and idealized but the psychology behind our perception of change tells us that we are much more comfortable with small, reliable, realistic changes. The reality is that change, even positive and desired change, is hard and stressful and often uncomfortable.. So, even if we dearly desire our big, sexy, sweeping resolution, the difficulty and discomfort associated with this amplified change is so tough to tolerate that we abandon our goal. Overcome this trap by setting a small, specific, realistic and attainable goal.
Our resolution is not connected closely enough with our values or our current lifestyle. Our goals, choices and behaviors are often influenced by friends, family, social media and even our own memories of prior goals or expectations we had for ourselves. If your resolution is externally driven, something you feel you ought to do, or are even guilting yourself into, it will also likely lack the intrinsic reward and thus, the sticking power to see you through to lasting change. Overcome this trap by setting a resolution that really excites you because it is true to your values, your dreams, and aligns with the way you live your life today.
We forget that New Year’s Day is just like any other day. Yes, it has a poetic ring to it as it opens our calendar year and, we agree, having a bit of fanfare to usher in a new resolution is motivating and exciting. But most of us set resolutions because we want a change that will last even when the party is over. Overcome this trap by going against the grain. Retrain your mind to believe that starting a change and setting a resolution can happen any day of the year…because it can! Start your resolution on Dec 30th or on January 2nd or a random Tuesday in March!
Your resolutions are about your reflections, your hopes, and your dreams for what the next chapter holds for you. These resolutions, just like you, are beautiful, deserving, worthy, and important…no matter what day of the year it is.
We wish you success in whatever you set out to accomplish this year – and we hope you find joy and laughter along the way!
Joy in the Journey,
J & J
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Meet Drs. Jessica Lawson & Jennifer Doran
Jess and Jenn are clinical psychologists, working parents, colleagues and friends. We believe in the the power of psychology and in having a connected and supportive community – a village. Our Blog posts and videos are designed to be short in nature – something you can tune into for 5 minutes a day or less.
